Office Jargon

To avoid confusing office speak workhate proudly brings you a growing list of jargon definitions that will help you with inter-personnel communication. Or something.

Work Station
Area on which one’s colleagues can place unwanted work of their own.

Biz Dev
The sound a bee makes when it hits a window.

Human Resources
The art of utilising the work experience placement to full capacity - yet quietly blaming them if anything goes wrong.

Health & Safety
Taking a day off due to excessive alcohol/drug consumption the night before.

Vocation
Getting a job so you can afford a holiday in Greece.

Equal Opportunities
Female/disabled/gay/ethnic minority employees should possess a good sense of humour about having their bottom pinched/being called 'stumpy'/bad Larry Grayson impersonations/racist jokes.

Ethical Trading
i) Having reservations about shagging your boss (in return for a pay rise/day off/company stapler) but doing it anyway.
ii) Ebay at work. If it's not nailed down, sell it. Someone, somewhere in the world is even more unfulfilled than you are.

Promotion
Pay increase and title elevation bestowed on office spies.