Men have become Office Nancies, explains someone called Nancy

It’s a question that most men who work in an office environment are asking right now. Am I a metrosexual? Am I? Don’t laugh, I’m being serious.

Metrosexual men have “'fabulous communication skills, are kinder and gentler, are consensus builders and have good emotional intelligence - traits traditionally associated with women.” They dress well; have great posture and even better hair.



Doesn’t sound like you? Take our quick Work Hate Metrosexuality Test just to be safe:

Are you a Metrosexual?

Your female colleague takes out some lip balm. Do you…

1. Ask her what flavour it is and comment that Body Shop’s watermelon and jojoba is equally enjoyable – and great for the ravishing effects of air-conditioning?
2. Take out your own lip balm and apply it discreetly in the men’s room?
3. Ask if you can borrow some, using your little finger to deftly scoop up said balm?
4. Go back to your desk and spend the rest of the afternoon touching yourself and imagining Rachel Weisz applying different types of balm to her different types of lips.

What’s your favourite colour?

1. Peach
2. Honeydew
3. Anything that doesn’t clash with my tan suede man-bag
4. Blood

Two female colleagues are standing by the water cooler talking about their family life / emotions / hopes and dreams. Do you…

1. Stand next to them, nodding occasionally, saying “amen to that, sister” and generally being an effective listener?
2. Tell them about the time you found a lame duckling in your driveway and nursed it back to health, even fashioning a small crutch for it to use to get in and out of the bathtub to swim.
3. Hear all the pain and suffering in these beautiful women’s’ lives and break down, your salty tears mixing with the cup of filtered water you’ve only just poured yourself.
4. Make a sarcastic remark about this being the reason “no work gets done around here”, staring at their tits the entire time.

Results:

Mostly 1’s, 2’s or 3’s
You’re a Metrosexual! Metty, Metty, Metty! Oh, we tease. You’ll find that your ability to empathize and comment on this seasons fashions will help your professional life considerably. Either that or you’ll move to Bangkok’s Red Light District and become a Lady Boy.

Mostly 4’s
You’re a Metty too, you big Metty! Why? Because real men don’t read blogs. Most of them can’t even read. They’re too busy wrestling and felling logs to learn a pansy art like “letters”. Metty.